Children learn expectations best when adults clearly explain what they should do, provide appropriate support, and reinforce successful attempts. Expectations should be individualized to the child’s developmental level, communication style, and needs.
- Tell your child what to do
Instead of focusing only on what the child should not do, describe the expected behavior. Instead of: “Don’t run.” – Try: “Walk next to me.” - Keep instructions short and clear
Use simple, concrete language. Avoid giving several directions at once when the child may have difficulty processing multiple steps. - Use visual supports (pictures, checklists, whiteboards)
- Demonstrate expected behavior (model saying hi to people)
- Reinforce appropriate behavior in the moment (Good job putting your shoes on when asked!)
- Provide choices when appropriate
- Prepare your child for changes (10 mins until bathtime)
- Avoid saying to many “Don’ts”
- Allow processing time, after giving an instruction, give the child enough time to process the information and respond. Repeating the instruction many times or immediately adding additional directions may make it harder for some children to respond.
- Practice expectation outside of behaviors. (work on waiting, asking for help, or cleaning up)